‘[Meanwhile] I was struggling’: Preferential parents go bankrupt to fund the Golden Child's frivolous lifestyle, begging the eldest sibling for a loan, which is promptly refused

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 27, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

If you grew up as the 'easy child' you may be entitled to compensation… Just kidding, the only compensation an easy kid ever gets is the satisfaction of knowing they did everything themselves. Growing up as a self-sufficient sibling, you know that parents will always focus more energy on the complicated child. 

Yeah, yeah, I get it–that other sibling is more needy, but it would still be nice every once in a while to be babied by your parents like they are. Imagine how easy life could be if your parents helped you as much as they helped out your Golden Child sibling? It'd be nice to have a parental parachute too. However, this elder sibling learned that the family dynamic in their reality was far from ideal after learning their parents dropped their entire savings to fund the Golden Child's frivolous lifestyle. 

After a lifetime of self-reliance–working through college, struggling for an apartment, and barely making ends meet–the older sibling had their life and their finances figured out. But when they got that desperate phone call from Mom and Dad admitting they'd spent all of their money on the youngest sibling's new cars, new apartments, and their schooling, the eldest snapped. 

Keep scrolling for the adamant loan refusal that empowered this self-reliant 'easy child' to finally put their foot down.

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    AITA for refusing to help my parents financially after they secretly supported my "perfect" sibling instead of me? Growing up, I was always the "self-sufficient" one. I worked
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    hard, earned scholarships, and took on part-time jobs to pay my way through college. My younger sibling, however, had everything handed to them-new car, fully paid tuition, even an apartment. I always assumed my parents were simply more financially stable when my sibling came along, and I didn't want to make a fuss.
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    Fast forward to last month: My parents called me, saying they're in financial trouble and asked if I could help them with a loan. I thought about it, wanting to do the "right" thing, but then something didn't add up. So, I asked them directly why they'd
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    spent so much on my sibling and not me. That's when they admitted they'd actually saved up for both of us but used almost all of it to support my sibling because they "needed it more." I was devastated. Here I was, working myself to exhaustion to
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    stay afloat, while they funded my sibling's every whim, fully knowing I was struggling. I told them I can't help them financially, as it wouldn't be fair to myself. Now my sibling and some extended family are calling me heartless and ungrateful, saying that "family supports each other,"
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    and that I'm letting my parents suffer over "old grudges." AITA for refusing to bail out my parents after learning the truth about their financial favoritism? What type of person would you support in your POV
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    Mushroom Radiant4647 ΝΤΑ Why can't the younger sibling help out your parents? You struggled all your life to make your own way without the help of your parents, and now they need your help? I mean, they couldn't help you before, but now they want your help? I'd definitely think twice.
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    twilight songs Not to mention that these are far from "old grudges"-- to you they are brand new! NTA. Kittykatinahat Someone once told me: "Grudges are a good thing, it means you learned a lesson and you didn't forget it." Don't forget the lesson you have learned about your family. Keep holding that grudge.
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    Hawaiianstylin808 Actually family doesn't support each other as you can attest to. You didn't get any. Golden child can fork over the money.
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    Gohighsweetcherry. Send a message out to family telling them that you give your permission to your sibling that the (insert figure) that was saved for you but instead given to them, be given back to your parents. NTA
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    Gohighsweetcherry. Sibling can sell the flat they were given and give half the money that rightfully belongs to OP back to her parents as OP doesn't want or need it anymore.
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    blablablablaparrot So they say you are ungrateful, meaning that you have something to be grateful about. Then they say you hold grudges, meaning that you were treated unfairly and still
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    holding on to that. Which is it? Because it's hard to be grateful for being an afterthought. LET THEM SULK, while you live your best life that you worked hard for.
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    Ask your parents to approach your sibling, their main investment, for help. Tell your sibling to step up as they are your parents financial and emotional investment, not you. Move on. With or without them.
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    Fantastic Cabinet2623 NTA. Family clearly doesn't support each other or they would have supported you and your sister equally. Also I notice none of the flying monkeys opening THEIR wallets.
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    BreezyxBelle I agree. It's clear that your family's idea of support is very one-sided, and they failed to treat you and your sibling equally. True family support means being there for everyone,
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    not just picking favorites. It's frustrating that those criticizing you aren't offering any help themselves. You have every right to prioritize your own well-being, especially after all the hard work you've put in OP. NTA
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family drama dads famiies drama kids brother siblings moms parenting loan pay dad story family sibling sister stories parent mom golden child money cousins parents
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